Clan 404


They tried to send me off to Rehab...No, no no.

24 Sep 2007 by ShogZ

I've just spent a quality week and weekend gaming.

I'd forgotten how much fun it is just to sit in front of a PC or console for hours on end and get absoloutly absorbed into a decent game. Due to real life concerns it's been a while since I've had the chance, and after having booked a weeks' leave I decided to pwn it the best I could.

Do the gardening? Tax returns? Catching up on correspondance or going to dance class? All of these are for cissies (Except the last one, real men only) I just went straight ahead and started the marathon.
You know the marathon, that massive gaming binge supported by innumerous cans of soda and packets of Haribo.

There are several things I've identified from my 90+ hour gaming binge over the last week, I'd like to share these with you now:

The Gaming Hangover:

This is a real life thing. After many hours of staring at a screen and eventually slithering into bed, one often experiences the following symptoms for up to two days afterwards: Dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, irratibility, bad complexion, poor concentration, sore thumbs or any combination of the above.

Elements of the gaming hangover which are rarer but I particularly love are psychological: Dreams filled with images from the game recently played, repeated sound effects of given game on loop in your head, reactive motor movements such as clicking or pointing in your sleep or tired state. Weight loss and gain have also been reported.

The Perfect Gaming Diet:

This is similar to what a sportsman or woman should eat and drink before a big competition. Of key importance in co-operative play is that both parties are equally alert, there's nothing worse than having to call time on a gaming spree because one of you is tired. Pussies.

This means that a combination of factors is needed, the first and most important in the initial phase are slow release carbohydrates and fluids for the longer term. Newbs make two mistakes here, they either hit the sugars first or 'go heavy' or some such. Bad idea.

Sugars are a temporary surge, much like troops in a combat zone, and provide a brief boost of energy and alertness, dont use these yet. Nor should the acolyte gamer go straight for the heavies either, a combination of lighter carby snacks is preffered, this usually involves, breads, crisps, chips and the like. Try where possible to get plainer tasting ones, and avod strong flavours or odours, mostly because its less divisive sitting on a couch with a guy who smells like rock salt than one who smells like mature chedder and onion.

In phase two, usually three hours in or so, you should look to include some 'tasteables' these are snacks of amore exotic variety like cooked prawns, garlic bread with cheese, chicken wings etc.They should be light but numerous and importantly should be hot. If you go for chips (US fries) make sure to go skinny cut and share the bowl. Don't let any food sit.

After about six to seven hours you should look to get in something heavier but equally spread out, I think here of small supermarket style burgers or the like. Again three to four each, depending on the size of the gamer (We mostly come in two classes elf (Anaeorexic) or Barbarian (Gargantuan)).

Ten to twelve hours in and you'll be needing the power foods, here's where your sugars come in. Pepsi, Coke, Dr.Pepper and anything stuffed with additives and E numbers that leaves grit on your teeth should be consumed. If you really need the burn go in hard and fast, a full pack mof Haribo tangfangtastic each or a whole bag of Jelly Babies. Chocolate can be used here too, again no bars smaller than 250g allowed.

If you're a real athlete and have entered into the 15+ hours stage you'll need professional suplements. Here I'm thinking pimp juice, red bull, caffeine pills, espresso and the like. When your bodies about to die round it off with a massive intake of syrup or sauce on ice cream and prepare to crash.