Clan 404


Next Year

08 Oct 2007 by ShogZ

We should totally be going to the World Cyber games finals. They're being held in Germany in 08, so no excuses my European brethren. The UK did well this year too here, have a read.

All of this while we await SpiKes reviews of Quake Wars. He tells me it's coming...

Hip Hop goes before Congress

25 Sep 2007 by ShogZ

Seriously this is no joke.

The US congress is debating what to do about the standard of lyrics in Hip Hop, as can be seen here.

Master P and David Banner are squaring off in the mother of all battles, one for clean lyrics the other for diiiirty words. The battle is on, each one gets 60 seconds and congress is the judge. Scream fo who ya like!

They tried to send me off to Rehab...No, no no.

24 Sep 2007 by ShogZ

I've just spent a quality week and weekend gaming.

I'd forgotten how much fun it is just to sit in front of a PC or console for hours on end and get absoloutly absorbed into a decent game. Due to real life concerns it's been a while since I've had the chance, and after having booked a weeks' leave I decided to pwn it the best I could.

Do the gardening? Tax returns? Catching up on correspondance or going to dance class? All of these are for cissies (Except the last one, real men only) I just went straight ahead and started the marathon.
You know the marathon, that massive gaming binge supported by innumerous cans of soda and packets of Haribo.

There are several things I've identified from my 90+ hour gaming binge over the last week, I'd like to share these with you now:

The Gaming Hangover:

This is a real life thing. After many hours of staring at a screen and eventually slithering into bed, one often experiences the following symptoms for up to two days afterwards: Dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, irratibility, bad complexion, poor concentration, sore thumbs or any combination of the above.

Elements of the gaming hangover which are rarer but I particularly love are psychological: Dreams filled with images from the game recently played, repeated sound effects of given game on loop in your head, reactive motor movements such as clicking or pointing in your sleep or tired state. Weight loss and gain have also been reported.

The Perfect Gaming Diet:

This is similar to what a sportsman or woman should eat and drink before a big competition. Of key importance in co-operative play is that both parties are equally alert, there's nothing worse than having to call time on a gaming spree because one of you is tired. Pussies.

This means that a combination of factors is needed, the first and most important in the initial phase are slow release carbohydrates and fluids for the longer term. Newbs make two mistakes here, they either hit the sugars first or 'go heavy' or some such. Bad idea.

Sugars are a temporary surge, much like troops in a combat zone, and provide a brief boost of energy and alertness, dont use these yet. Nor should the acolyte gamer go straight for the heavies either, a combination of lighter carby snacks is preffered, this usually involves, breads, crisps, chips and the like. Try where possible to get plainer tasting ones, and avod strong flavours or odours, mostly because its less divisive sitting on a couch with a guy who smells like rock salt than one who smells like mature chedder and onion.

In phase two, usually three hours in or so, you should look to include some 'tasteables' these are snacks of amore exotic variety like cooked prawns, garlic bread with cheese, chicken wings etc.They should be light but numerous and importantly should be hot. If you go for chips (US fries) make sure to go skinny cut and share the bowl. Don't let any food sit.

After about six to seven hours you should look to get in something heavier but equally spread out, I think here of small supermarket style burgers or the like. Again three to four each, depending on the size of the gamer (We mostly come in two classes elf (Anaeorexic) or Barbarian (Gargantuan)).

Ten to twelve hours in and you'll be needing the power foods, here's where your sugars come in. Pepsi, Coke, Dr.Pepper and anything stuffed with additives and E numbers that leaves grit on your teeth should be consumed. If you really need the burn go in hard and fast, a full pack mof Haribo tangfangtastic each or a whole bag of Jelly Babies. Chocolate can be used here too, again no bars smaller than 250g allowed.

If you're a real athlete and have entered into the 15+ hours stage you'll need professional suplements. Here I'm thinking pimp juice, red bull, caffeine pills, espresso and the like. When your bodies about to die round it off with a massive intake of syrup or sauce on ice cream and prepare to crash.

If life was a sci-fi movie

19 Sep 2007 by ShogZ

Then it would start with a fireball being sited screaming across the sky near south America.

When that fireball smashed into the earth near Peru it would leave a crater almost a hundred feet wide by twenty feet deep.

Locals would feel ill upon entering the crash site and devlope bizarre symptoms including breathing difficulties and other maladies. Local cattle would likely fall sick and become irratable or die.

Authorities would rush to the site to try and ascertain what was happening around the impact site, and that would just be the beginning...

Kind of like exactly whats happened in Caracas today then.

Hardcore like porno bitches

18 Sep 2007 by ShogZ


I refer of course to EA and the deathly remnants of Westwood that created C&C3. It's a damned good game to be sure but the difficulty curve is more of a cliff than a slope.

I've been steadily munching my way through the GDI campaign as an appetiser and I have come up against one of those 'this mission is so annoying' missions. Not as annoying as the 'baby level' on Max Payne, or even one of those 'Run one man into the middle of fifty snipers and get a box then come out alive', no this is a different form of annoying.

Essentially I have a base which is being severely jacked. I ave to defend this base until reinforcements arrive, which I duly do. Then we discover that the reinforcements are stuck and need assistance to get through, so I have to send much needed reinforcements from my belegaured HQ far into the ether to recuse the guys meant to be rescuing me.

It gets better.

Upon rescuing these guys I then have to drive them past another enemy base hidden in the south corner, just to get them near my own, original fucked up joint. So I duly do this, not only do I do it but I manage to all but destroy the hidden base in the journey. By this time however my original HQ is totally destroyed, it has been overrun by massive swarms of tanks and bombers.


Therefore I duly try and unpack my new base literally anywhere else, but the game insists I have to move it back to the original scorched ground that was base number one. So I do this, the game then lets me repack the base and promptly move back to where I wanted.
Obligingly the bad guys follow in their thousands against the small handful of hand tropps I've got left.

I use the special ability of one of my remaining vehicles and mine their entire route. Blowing the hell out of them.

I barely scratch a third of them before they're over the bridge and on the doorstep of my new base.

So I load and repeat and this time sucker them further and further into the map, using my guys as a lure and hitting them form fortified positions before moving. This time I fare better. I kill about two thirds of them.

Just when I've got this cycle down and I'm fairly sure I can trade every one of my mens lives heavily for at least one of their tanks, I look down the map.

They've circles another entire army around my flank and raped my base using this second attack force.

I've played through the level for about 9 hours straight now, beginning to end, mid point loads to later saves and it really makes no difference. I just cant win it. I wouldnt mind if the whole game thus far had been a sloping path of difficulty, this time however I'm cruising, then WHAM.

GG playtesters, this one just went from challening to annoying. At about hour 12 I will come to your houses and kill you.