Clan 404

...spiffing

Today...

22 Apr 2007 by ShogZ

Is my birthday. Rejoice oh empty site in the hollowness of this place.

I warned you

20 Apr 2007 by ShogZ

I warned you all.

But no, you wouldn't listen. Literally nobody stepped up to help me fill the content void. Not even to comment on one of my attempts to make articles. Therefore I now know what I had always suspected. There is no one here.

This is officially the lonliest site on the internet and to prove it is a cat with a helmet:
It's a cat in a helmet dumb ass.

He will stand guard for all eternity on this, the lonliest of digital outposts.

Machinima

18 Apr 2007 by ShogZ

This guy deserves a medal. Get over to his site and watch this movie:

http://www.gametrailers.com/umwatcher.php?id=57998

It's the kind of thing that makes me wish I'd stayed in games development / art. Or that I had talent. Either will do.

P.S: Can someone help me out here? Someone post something anything...Seriously. A picture of your cat or anything. Just so I don't feel like this is Shogz and Gonzo.com which I know deep down it is.

Ghost Rider - Flaming Sh-t.

16 Apr 2007 by ShogZ

Sometimes you watch a movie that is so terribly awful it is difficult to put into words.
Sadly, however, being a journo type, words are my hobby. Somehow I have to pass on the sheer excrement value of the movie I've just watched.

Right, let's see...I need some adjectives. 'Confused', 'Badly Acted', 'Rabid dog shit covered in radioactive arse waste of evil mutant zombie cats that have eaten shit for half a year then died and roasted in old sewage before shatting out this film'.

Yep, those fit.

Ghost Rider follows the model put forward in comic to movie marketing documents. That for every two good comic book films, one has to be truly crap. Thankfully, like the curse Johnny Blaze chooses to carry for us all, this movie fulfills the latter role.

The background story is actually quite strong, involving a faustian pact which results in the devil cheating Johnny out of his soul and sending him after some very unscary opponents. Johnny is a bike rider, who rides a bike for evil which turns him into fire and he has powers which means he collects the devils debts. Sadly none of this story gets put into the film.

It isn't even a decent kids comic book movie, sure there's some good action and nice effects (Although not all nice, watching the end scene where the devil is standing in the church makes you realise how horribly superimposed the actors are). I gave up trying to follow the story halfway through and just watched for the leading ladies boobs everytime she thrust them into view.

Here is a sample of the dialogue, truly of Epoisode III standard: "I love you for who you are. This is who you are, who you were always meant to be." YAWN.

The bad guys are not scary, the film is a series of different scenes badly cut together that seem completely unconnected, the plot makes little sense and frequently dissapears only to poop up again as convenient. Random legends and myths are thrown in, but there's nothing apocalyptic, epic or even remotely magical about the outcome. It just looks like bad sci-fi TV gone wrong. Huge swathes of characterisation are left untouched and plot holes abound (Who are the demons aiding the devils son? Where do they go? If the son has no soul and Johnny kills the others, where does he go? What happens to the woman? How about the million people who saw Johhny turn into ghostrider and tear up a city and throw a police helicopter on film? What happned to the secret rider? Why did he wait to reveal himself? Who are the villagers of this place and why havn't they been damned?) The film left me with endless questions and an annoying feeling I had made a deal to spend two hours watching it and was cheated out of that time.

It's not all bad, you get the sense that Cage is sleepwalking through his lines but he's still entertaining enough to watch. There's also a kind of feeling that there was a wealth of material to go on from the comic books and the writers tried to cram way too much in. But aside fomr that and the leading ladies breasticles, this is one to burn in the eternal pit of bargain bin hades and never ever touch.

Verdict? Don't even bother to warez it.

Is Quake 3 dead?

11 Apr 2007 by ShogZ

Intent on creating content and solving life's mysterys I typed the above question into several major browsers and noted the results.

With Google when hitting 'I feel lucky' I got some mod site (Reaction) , updated in January this year. So not dead, just...old: http://www.rq3.com/

Ask Jeeves, fared a little worse and gave me a French site as my first hit. Because this site was French I immediately spammed it's webmaster, trolled the email addresses, signed them up for kiddy porn and DDOS'd the host with my best script. When that failed I followed the second link: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-10/17/content_273218.htm. This was more sobering. An earthquake had left 3 people dead and some 500,000 homeless. My concerns are small.

Then I tried Yahoo because I wanted the US Government to know my name and underwear size as sold to them by Yahoo, sorry Blizzard, sorry AOL inc.
They gave me the Irish Quake community website. It was actually interesting and contained relevant news fom this month. Notably that id want betatesters for the new Quake Wars. Here: http://www.quake.ie/

Which search constantly comes up no matter what I set my default search to? Which one does IE constantly recommend regardless of my actions? So finally I tried MSN. It repeated Google and gave me Reaction Quake 3. Being a dilligent journalist I followed the second link to get more links for you. This one meniotned an earthquake in Indonesia that had killed 3,000: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5022558.stm

So did my intrepid internet exploring result in an answer? Is Quake 3 dead? Well, sort of. But there are also a lot of earthquakes out there. Remember earthquakes could be anywhere, they could be your best friend. Report all Earthquakes to your local police force.